Desensitized to Paradise

Vol 1, Issue 2,
I have moved forward a little, but first to backtrack. I've been in New York for two and a half years. I remember moving here like it was just yesterday, complete with the understanding that an able bodied person should be able to find an un-honest, off-the-books, illegal job. This city runs on off-the-books labor. Tons of legal, illegal, and undocumented immigrants with fake Social Security numbers supply this city with what must be like 50% of it's grunt labor force. They all pay taxes. Alot of taxes. I don't know the stats exactly but it's like billions I think, yet none of them will ever receive a government benefit.

Duh, they are working illegally right.

Little do they know that it is somewhat of a privilege to even have the fake Social. How does one acquire this? I have no idea. I've heard that there is a guy in Queens somewhere, off some subway stop, who stands there all day and sells them, fake Socials. I guess one of my classmates knows a guy. Where the hell was this info 2 years ago? What of us lowly aliens who do not even know how to get the fake Socials? How can we get illegal jobs?

This is the transcription of an actual inquiry into illegal employment by an unidentified person, whereas said person does not have proper documentation:

Illegal job seeker: Hey how's it going?
Bartender: Good. What can I get you?
Illegal job seeker: Ahh, I was just wondering if you hired people off-the-books here? You know, pay in cash.
Bartender: Off-the-books?...No. Now get the hell out of my bar you undocumented scum!

Ok, maybe the bartender didn't ever actually kick me out of the bar with those exact words, but I felt their sting every time I heard no, after no, after no. I called it the unemployed, unable-to-get-a-Social Security-Number blues. It's a stupid name, I know. For a stupid time.

Yes, I am now legally employed for the first time in, well, I'm not going to say. Not because I'm ashamed that I haven't had a paycheck for a while. A long while. No. But because by admitting that I haven't been legally employed in the US for a while, I would be inferring that I had actually been illegally employed. It has to do something with the weird way I worded it.

To any immigration official that may ever read this I can honestly say that I have never worked illegally.
Even if it was not my decision not to break the law, I have still never broken it.

So I am no longer living completely the life of a trust funder, but after one week of working at my new job I'm already missing the unemployed-bum life of luxury I've become accustomed to. Not wanting to go to work tomorrow at 9am I'm thinking this having a legit Social business is not all it's cracked up to be.