End of the Road

Vol. 1 Issue 43

"But the needle can sometimes go astray, putting the drug into the spinal fluid or arteries, causing nerve damage, hemorrhages and death to nerves by depriving them of oxygen. Many doctors use imaging and fluorescent dye to position the needle, but even that technique is not foolproof. Another complication is arachnoiditis, an inflammation of a membrane surrounding the nerves of the spinal cord that is marked by pain, nerve damage and bowel and bladder dysfunction." -NY TIMES

And it doesn’t feel too hot either. Over the past three weeks I have had exactly four needles inserted directly into my spine. Although these experiences bring to mind plenty of ideas for this week’s post, the thought of drudging up any more personal experiences about my health and sanity is just too overwhelming. I’m going to avert the hemorrhaging and cerebral nerve damage and declare it official: Fair readers, October is just too far away. This is the end of the road for this blog.

But I am starting fresh with a new film blog. I’ve already written a couple reviews which I will post immediately. I hope to review more than one film a week so my posts will be shorter, more frequent, and more pertinent to an actual topic. The goal is get my blog intertwined with some other interesting film blogs and websites, something I failed to do with this blog. As a successful film blogger I will then abuse my power to promote myself as a screenwriter and make a million dollars off my screenplay Omophagia.

Thank you to everyone who listened to what I had to say over the past ten months. Onward, we shall (hopefully) endure.

The Wolverine (Film Review)

Vol. 1 Issue 42

I have no idea how to write a review for a superhero movie, but I thought that The Wolverine was a good enough film to warrant an attempt.

The Wolverine keeps you on the edge of your seat for nearly every second of the film. After an atomic set of dream sequences where Logan witnesses the bombing of Nagasaki in World War Two, we find Logan living in the forest, in what is wrongly identified as “present-day Alaska” by New York Times critic A.O Scott. It is clearly the Yukon Canada, as identified by The Yukon Sportsman’s Paradise sign in an early scene. Having abandoned his life as a crime fighter, it doesn’t take long before the action starts, and Logan gets drawn back into his old kick-ass ways.

Very early the film departs North America for Japan, and stays there for the rest of the time. The sets designs are spectacular, the photography obviously expensive and flawless. Shots of everything Japanese give the film an exotic flare, which then of course allows for every single character to be a martial arts expert. The fights scenes are visibly momentous, the special effects outstanding.

There are some gut-wrenching flaws though that are hard to stomach amidst the film’s greatness: Logan and his side-kick Yukio are both highlighted riding motorcycles through the snow in the middle of Japanese winter; the sexy Viper villain has no discernable point as a character, neither do her costumes; the scene from the trailer where Logan is standing smoking his trademark cigar disappointingly does not appear in the film.

Yet the overarching theme dealing with Logan’s angst causing immortality is interesting enough to easily redeem the film. Wolverine doesn’t save the world here, but he fights to protect the life of one woman, and ends up fighting just to save his own.

A Hijacking (Film Review)

Vol. 1 Issue 41

I have traversed the Gulf of Aden twice, the piece of ocean between Yemen and Somalia notorious for it’s pirates. I was somewhat familiar with the methods that pirates use when commandeering ships to demand ransoms, but to appreciate the events of Tobias Lindholm’s A Hijacking no sailing experience is necessary.

Even though the film is a representation of how an actual Hijacking would take place: Quick, precise, and severe, the film spends little time on the mechanics of how the pirates actually board. This is not an action film. We learn that a high-speed boat has approached and boarded effortlessly, that’s it. More important to the film is what happens while the pirates are onboard.

The first thing the pirates do, even before starting negotiations for money, is demand food. The ship’s cook, played brilliantly by Danish actor Pilou Asbaek, becomes the pirate’s gopher, and an ad-hoc negotiator between the pirates and the ship’s owners.

Conditions onboard are miserable. Shocking even. The cook and 2 other crewmen are kept in a small closet for weeks, four other crewmembers below deck. They’re not allowed out to relive themselves in a toilet; they must use a corner of the room. My training on ships did not include images like these. There was no training about how to interact with maniacs with automatic weapons.

The job of casting the actors that play the pirates is ingenious. All the actor’s performances are in the Somali language (I think). Their interactions with the ship’s crew are so authentic that I’m guessing none of these men were trained actors. Probably just local Somali men recruited by the casting director, but I can’t verify this. If they were actors, they’re the best I’ve ever seen.  

Contentious negotiations between the ship’s owners and the pirates leave questions. The hijacking ends without incident, almost, but the negotiations take months. Could the ship’s owner have done more? Given in to the pirate’s demands sooner? Gotten the crew home faster? Undoubtedly questions that need to be asked of the real hijackings that take place routinely in the Gulf, where we get little more than a single paragraph in the news about some, and no more.